Never give up

October 8, 2014 update

This update I wrote a few days ago on Facebook. It does contain mention of something cryptic that I do apologize for, but it's not something that belongs in the public yet, so it's not something I can talk about.

Here goes:

For the past ~14 years I've been fighting, mostly to get out of a situtation where I couldn't even talk to people on the phone, let alone actually leave the house. Now I'm starting more and more to return to a normal life. I can leave the house easily - it doesn't bother me at all any more. I can certainly also talk on the phone now. I crawled back out of a hole that I was so deep into that I couldn't see a way out - I honestly had no idea how I was ever going to make my situation any better. But I did, because I refused to give up. How I managed I don't know, but I did manage - and I'm glad I did. I am extremely appreciative of the people who stuck around and helped me through as well, because that means a lot. Likewise the people who came out of the woodwork when I did share my story, because they had no idea what happened to me - for them I just sort of vanished from the face of the earth, and I sort of did and that was my doing.

However a little over a year ago I added another fight, one equally important. Most people would probably say that I'm insane (some have hinted at it at least ;)) for doing it (especially doing it with the fight I already have), but the fact that I am doing it is also part proof of how far I've come. And this fight is one I have to take as well, because it means everything. Luckily today this fight pleasently surprised me a bit, which was nice. It's still going to be a long and hard fight, I know that much, but I have to take it, even if I have no idea what the result will be. I have to see this one through all the way to the end. For this one I will rather go out in a blaze of glory, knowing I did everything (and then some) I could than wonder for the rest of my life. Some things are just too important to just walk away from because it's a bit tough.

Fight for what you believe in. Fight for what matters.

For the people who are looking out for me with this added fight (those of you who know what's going on); you're awesome. It means you care and that means a lot - and I know you're just trying to make sure nothing happens to me. But you also know how much this means to me and you understand that I have to do it - and you will be there if it ends in flames.

Let me end with some words in case you're sitting out there feeling a bit down, tired of shit or whatever the case might be.

Remember to never give up and never stop fighting. And remember that you're never alone, even if it sometimes might feel like it. When a door closes there's usually another one opening, maybe not straight away but it will come. The important thing is to make sure you're there to walk through it when it happens. Reach out to people if you feel alone - you're more than likely a whole lot less lonely than you imagine. People actually still care.

We all have our shit to deal with, big or small, but we need to always remember to be there for each other as well.

Through my fighting I've helped other people and always been available for support, people can attest to that. So even if you're dealing with shit, remember that so is everyone else, most people will just hide it. So be there for each other and help each other. If you call someone a friend make sure to back it up with actions as well. Even if it isn't someone you might call a friend, try and help anyway, you might just make a new one.